NO Title
by BlackMoonShine
Summary: Remy's childhood sickness is back: Cancer. When he comes to the barriers that will decide his fate, will he be able to accept the love that is given to him by fellow teammates? Will they drive each other insane? Remy/Rahne.
1. Default Chapter

Note: Forget everything you know about Remy's childhood. This is something thats been stuck in my head and i don't know why. If you review i'll add more chapters and it will end up in present day evo. NO COMPLAINING.

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Jean-Luc slowly opened the door with the silence that only a thief could muster. He was watching the boy who lay on sprawled over the bed, exhaustion etched into his small face. He didn't know someone was next to him until he felt Matte come and stand next to him. 

"He'll be fine Jean-Luc," she said to him her hand resting on his shoulder. "He's a strong one him. He'll conquer dis." He took comfort in her calm, soothing voice with all of its Cajun accents. Most people in the household were Cajun but he still felt peace come over him when Matte spoke.

He looked at his adopted son of three years and couldn't fight his overwhelming panic. He loved his boy. This boy was his son. He vowed that he wouldn't let anything happen to him when he took him in and here he was, sick. He turned away from Remy and silently closed the door behind him before walking down the hall. Matte watched him leave. He looked older then he had a few weeks ago when this had first happened. She turned and walked down the opposite end of the hall and hoped tat they would all make it through this with their mentality intact.

On the bed lay a pale boy that looked to be about ten. He would, of course, be very insulted if you were to call him ten. He was thirteen thank-you very much. He was extremely thin. He had shoulder length auburn hair that hung over his face concealing his features. He had a well sculpted face with high cheekbones that made him look even skinnier then he was. If he were to open his eyes they would not be the normal shade of brown,blue,green,or a mixture of the three. He had Red irises and were there should have been white, was actually black. He was too thin and looked sick.

He woke up with a start feeling about as rested as he had when he had gone to sleep about an hour before. He felt tired and for some reason, although he hadn't eaten all day, he had no appetite.

_"Petite, Come downstairs an' eat. It's no good if you pass out." _He shuddered. He was never going to get used to the telepathy's voice in his head, even if it was Matte.

Remy made his way down the hall slowly. He felt so tired. Why did he feel this tired he had just woken up. He had gotten back from his appointment at the hospital a few hours ago and he could feel the effects of the drugs taking hold. He walked into the kitchen and pulled a chair out from the table. He sat down and rested his head on the table in a futile attempt to get his energy back. Matte put a plate of food on the table in front of him. He looked at it. The sights and smells made him feel nauseous. He ate a little of the food on the plate before he felt his stomach violently lurch. He ran to the bathroom and closed the door behind him before he began heaving. He felt a warm hand rubbing him on the back in slow, calming circles and he cringed inwardly as he realized that he had forgotten to lock the door.

When he was done he leaned back and looked at Matte who was crouched down beside him and Jean-Luc he was in the doorway eyeing him with concern. He felt embarrassment creep into his face and the back of his neck. He had never wished that he could disappear more then at this moment. He stood up and with as much dignity as he would walked pass the adults and headed towards his room. He lay down on his bed for a moment. He felt better for some reason after he had thrown up. He had always felt awful after before but something was different this time and he didn't know what.

He stripped down and went into the bathroom that was connected to his room. He figured he would feel even better after taking a shower. He hated what his sickness was doing to him.

**FLASHBACK**

_Remy sat on the steel table that was in this little room in the doctors office that they had put him in. He swung his legs nervously against the side. Jean-Luc sat there. He was probably expecting something much better then he was actually going to get._

_A blond nurse who had been really nice to him walked in the room. She informed them that the doctor wanted to meet them in his office. She wouldn't meet their eyes but she looked concerned. As Remy walked through the door she gave him a sad look before he disappeared. They walked into a little office and at the desk sat a heavy, brown haired woman. She looked gravely serious._

_"Theres no other way to explain this then being blunt. The symptoms you've described, bone and joint pain and fatigue concerned us. We took a sample of your sons blood and had it tested. It came back positive for what we were looking for. I'm sorry but your son had Leukemia."_

**END-FLASHBACK**

She had gone on to explain courses of treatment and and exactly what kind of Leukemia he had. Today he had had another round of chemotherapy. He had been having it for a few weeks now and he had never felt more tired.

He stepped beneath the warm spray and cleaned himself up. He ran his fingers through his hair. He felt something catch on them and he pulled them away so he could see. Hair had caught on his fingers. He shook the clump away and continued to clean up. When he was done he shut the water off and wrapped himself in a towel. He could see something he didn't want to see.

He got dressed and lay on the bed feeling numb. He could still see what he had found in the shower. All that hair clogging the drain.

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ME: Im not really good in all the medical stuff so please bear with me. Some of the symtoms i got off line but the whole feelings from chemo i got from waching my dad. Im sorry if you don't like this story. please review anyways. 


	2. Chapter 2

The room smelt of anti-bacterial wash and that sterile smell that he hated so much. You could feel the sickness throughout the building. The walls were painted white and second class paintings by nameless artists hung on the walls in a failed attempt to cheer up it's occupants.

A frail looking little boy sat anxiously on the edge of the bed. A friendly looking nurse gently slid the needle into a vein on the top of his left hand. He inwardly shuddered while he remained his stony composure. He was used to being stuck. He didn't like the fact that the stuff that was supposed to be making him better was making him sicker and more tired.

"You can sleep through this if you want," she offered as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. He laid down on the bed. He didn't want to be awake while thew were shoving poisonous chemicals into him. His eyes drifted closed as he watched Matte turn the pages of her romance novel and her eyes scanned over the page.

Jean-Luc watched anxiously as Matte slowly pulled into the driveway. She quickly got out and was followed more slowly by Remy. He looked like a hardened war veteran. He had an emotionless look in his eyes. All the humor and happiness that he had once had was now washed away. He was no longer that care free boy he had taken off the street.

He knelt down and took Remy in his arms as Remy leaned comfortably into his embrace, Bone chilled weariness etched into his frame.

Later that night, as the sun was sinking beyond the horizon, saw a man and a women standing in the doorway. The man looked to be in his late forties with kind brown eyes that shone with wisdom beyond his years and a sensible disposition. Matte was a heavy set women with dark brown hair and a caring personality.

Remy laid on the couch sleeping. His features were calm and peaceful while he was visiting the realms of sleep. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, a black tee-shirt and an unzipped black sweatshirt. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest. The movie he had been watching had long since ended leaving snow on the screen.

Jean-Luc softly padded over to his son and knelt until their faces were level. He stroked Remy's forehead and pushed his hair back from his face. He looked thoughtfully at the boy for a moment.

This was the boy he had rescued from the streets. Through all his pain and suffering had remained cheerful and never got bitter or resentful. Who had just taken what he got because that was the way the world had turned. Who had been forced to suffer the injustices of the world, and now, now that he was finally happy and living the life a kid should live, something happened to bring him down.

Remy was being pulled back into wakefulness, fighting against the instinct for his eyes to flash open. He willed himself to relax. He felt fingers playing with his hair. _Matte? _No the fingers were to calloused. He slowly opened his eyes and was surprised when he saw Jean-Luc hovering about him.

Jean-Luc inwardly cringed at the dead, dull look in Remy's once bright eyes. They smiled sadly at each other.

"Mon fils, I want'd to talk to you. How are you?" Remy could tell what the real question was even though Jean-Luc tried to ask it subtly.

" 'M fine." He lied and he could tell by the piercing gaze he received that

Jean-Luc didn't believe him.

" 'M tired," he admitted shyly, and he knew that Jean-Luc understood what he meant by that. He was so tired, his illness was taking a toll on his body. He just wanted to lay down and sleep and just die so he wouldn't have to put up with this suffering.

Jean0Luc carefully lifted Remy up and slid under him placing him gently onto his lap. He put his hand over Remy's eyes.

"Sleep." He commanded, ad soon they were both asleep.

**Six Months Later**

The doctor sat behind the desk, her face was unreadable. She made the occasional "Hmmm," or "ah-hum," as she read over the reports and blood work. Jean-Luc and Remy sat tersely as they waited nervously for her to speak. "Your blood work looks good," she informed him. Then her face lit up with a smile. "You are in remission my friend." Remy sat in shock for a moment before he grinned and Jean-Luc saw the old Remy return.

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I know this sucks and everything i just needed to write. PLease review even if your just saying how bad it is. 


	3. Chapter 3

In this story, forget everything about magneto. Remy came to the mansion out of his own free will...In fact, Just pretend that he came there the way it happened in the comics...with Ororo.

Read and review my little tulips.

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The mansion was quite on this spring day. The trees around the campus were blossoming, releasing pungent, beautiful smells into the air. It was only six in the morning so most of the other residents were either still asleep or getting ready for school. 

Remy sat high in the branches of some tree he didn't know the species of. He didn't really care either. He was glad the leaves concealed him as Scott and Jean walked right underneath him, arm in arm. Even Jean, being the telepathic chick that she was, didn't sense him. Of course, with all the kinetic static around his mind from his powers, he hadn't really expected her to. He could feel those dark feelings building up again, bringing along dark thoughts to go with them. _How come everybody else gets someone? How come I have t' be alone? _His reasonable side, and often, annoyingly logical side answered himself for him. _'S 'cause ya won't let anyone near ya fool. Ya won't tell anyone what's happened. Ya just sit up here or in ya room and mope and brood. Ya act like someone way older then you really are. Ya'r barely 18 and ya act like ya Logan's age. When was the last time ya had some fun? Acted like a kid? Acted ya age?_

Remy continued this trail of thoughts as he watched the others hitch rides to school, watched as they fought over who got to ride shot gun. He waited for a few moments after they had left before he gracefully jumped from his perch and landed on his feet._ Poppa always said I was more like a cat then a human_, he thought wryly.

He walked through the back door into the kitchen to find Logan still sitting at the table, reading the newspaper with a mug of coffee in his hand. He raised his eyes over the paper when he saw Remy come in.

"Souldn' you be at school kid?" Remy snorted in vague amusement as he walked over to the fridge. "I haven't been to school f' years. I don't see how much good it's gonna do f' me to go now." Logan grunted his agreement...or his agitation as he watched the kid pour himself some coffee. "You shouldn' drink that shit kid. Your to young for it." Remy raised an eyebrow at him before he downed the straight black coffee in one go. Logan rolled his eyes and decided to ignore the kid for the time being.

He put the mug in the full dishwasher before turning it on and wandered into the rec-room. There sat Rahne, looking miserable as she propped her face up on her hand and watched music videos. There was a package of Halls next to her and a box of tissues.

"Hey chickie." She smiled weakly, patting the place next to her on the couch. "C'mon lad. There be enough room for the both of us." He couldn't help but chuckle at her thick accent. He couldn't help it but he loved all the United Kingdom accents.

He sat down where she had pointed. As soon as he was comfortable Rahne fell onto her side, resting her head on his lap. They stayed like that for hours. Just sitting on the couch, not talking, but watching crappy music video's. Her popping Halls like candy while he just sat there and rubbed her back.

Logan walked into the rec-room and stopped short. Gambit sat asleep on the couch, his head thrown over the back. Rahne too was asleep, curled up in his lap. Logan thought for a moment. Remy was a strange kid. He didn't get along with most of the other kids. Hell, he hardly even acted like a kid. The only people Remy had connected to in the mansion were Himself, Ororo and Rahne. Scott and him had been butting heads since day one. He and Rogue didn't hit it off at all. They constantly bickered at each other. Logan thought it was because they _wanted_ to fight with each other. It was just the way they were both brought to attention by the others. He mentally shrugged. It was none of his business how these kids handled their relationships with each other as long as they didn't become violent. But he did like to think of Remy as a friend, so he kept tabs on what was going on that involved him.

Remy woke up with a start. It took him a moment to regain his surroundings. The T.V was still playing music video's. He smiled as he heard the song: SuperNova Goes Pop by Powerman 5000. It had always been his favorite song on that CD he kept firmly wedged underneath the seat of his car where no one would find it.

Rahne was still soundly asleep on his lap. He pulled his hand free from underneath and shook it as it began to tingle with blood rushing back. He gently slid out from under her and replaced himself with a pillow. He held his breath as she stirred and released it as she settled back to sleep. He wandered around the mansion for a while, and finding nothing to interest him, he walked down to the Danger Room.

He stood in the control room flipping through the simulations. He inserted the hardest one he could find. He wanted something hard. Really hard. Something he would get his ass kicked doing. He slowly strolled down and stood in the center off the little steel room. "Start simulation." The lights changed and the walls around him swirled until on all around him was an army of mythical creatures that only existed in Tolkien novels. He back flipped over them to land in a deserted part on flooring.

Remy laid the wrong way across his bed. He was calculating the bruises and cuts on his body. He was beginning to think that the fingers on his left hand were broken. He flipped himself up until he was laying the right way across the bed. His muscles and joints ached from that training session. A thought crossed his mind that made him break out in panic. _What if its back?_ He quickly dismissed the thought. He hurt all over. Of course he had been hurting all over for a few weeks now...or a few months, he wasn't quite sure. He willed himself to sleep, but he still couldn't get rid of that horrible feeling that loomed over him.

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OH MY GAWD! I updated! aren't you proud of me? I know how you're just sitting there going, "gad i wish she would stop writing. Shes horrible!." Well...if no one reviews...besides you hill. I'll make you review. Where was I? Oh yeah, if no one reviews I won't be updating. 

Don't you wish Johnny loved you like he loves me? (Johnny. My cat. Who gets all my black clothes covered in white cat hair.)


	4. Chapter 4

Rahne crept silently into Remy's room. She tried to close the door quietly behind her, looking over her shoulder to see if she had woken him up when the lock clicked loudly into place. He still slept soundly, lying on his stomach, breathing gently. She shuffled over to his bed and lay down next to him, trying to crawl under his arm.

" Ya' shouldn' be in here Rahne. The others are gonna be home soon. Scott will blow a gasket if he catches us near each other, let alone in the same bed." Remy mumbled as he let her shift closer to him. Rahne rolled her eyes as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm seventeen an' your eighteen. It's not like your that much older than me. And Scott would freak at us any ways. He just likes to do that. And it's not like we're fucking each other." He laughed. "Don't swear, ya' makin' ya' self blush." "Pfffttt. Yeah whatever." She snuggled closer to him and they went back to sleep.

"Rahne! Rahne!" Rogue looked into the rec-room and saw the evidence of Rahne having been there. She saw Jean coming down the stairs, Scott's arm around her waist. "Jeanie? Ya'll know where Rahne went off to?" Scott gave Rogue and Jean worried looks. Jean raised her had to her temple and scanned to mansion grounds. She frowned slightly and said in a dream like voice, "She's in Gambit's room." Rogue and Scott dashed up the stairs hoping to prevent tragedy from striking.

Rogue quickly flung the door open hoping to startle Gambit. Scott's hand was positioned on his sunglasses, ready to take them off and blast Gambit away. They felt a little embarrassed to see that Rahne was sleeping soundly at the end of Gambit's bed unharmed, and that Gambit himself was sitting at the top of the bed reading a thick looking book. Without looking up he turned the page. "Oh yes, I raped her violently and now I need y' to punish me." His voice was dry and lacked any amusement what-so-ever. He looked tired and worn. Scott didn't look amused either. "You know the rules. There is to be no...uh...sleeping together of members of the opposite sex. Remy sighed and nudged Rahne with his foot. She blinked her eyes owlishly at him.

"The overlord don't approve. Y'r gonna have to get up and get away from my "bad influence"." She turned her head and glared at Scott. "What the hell lad?" "Scott looked at her protectively. "It's not appropriate." Rahne gaped at him. "Since when do you make my decisions?" He gave Rahne a _what can I do about it? _look. "Come back later when they've settled down" he mouthed at her. She nodded at let herself be dragged along be Rogue and Scott.

As the door slammed Remy was hit with a violent dizzy spell. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his head on his knees to keep himself from passing out. He wouldn't pass out. He took some deep calming breaths. _Shit._ He felt like he was going to throw up. _Jeez_. He lay back on the bed and curled up, his knees up to his chest in hopes of preventing another spell. _Here we go again. _

"Why the hell would she even go near him? Ah mean, honestly." Scott sat on his knees behind her on the floor, his hands gently massaging her back. She leaned into his touch. "She has a crush on him. Most of the girls do. He's just showing her attention because she's young and he knows if he does something to her shes not going to tell anyone so he can get away with whatever he wants." Rogue picked up a beautiful necklace from off the dresser and placed it around her neck. She turned around and straddled his hips. "So what ya in the mood for tonight sugah?" She placed one hand on his naked chest as her other hand deftly began taking off his belt, all while he was running his hands along her body underneath her shirt.

Jean sat at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in left hand while she traced the grain of wood on the table with her right. She took a sip of her coffee and nearly spat out the mouthful of lukewarm liquid. She had been sitting there for the past hour pondering. Why on earth would Rogue and Scott not want Rahne and Remy to be friends? Even if it did go further then that, she believed that they would be good for each other. Remy was very shy but also very outgoing for some reason although that seemed strange. And Rahne was a little social butterfly. She loved to chatter and hand around with people in groups, but she was just as comfortable to be around just one person. She absolutely hated to be by herself though. And thats what Scott had done to her. He had locked her in her room by herself. Jean got up from the table. She had wanted to wait a bit before unlocking Rahne's door to make sure Scott or Rogue wouldn't be lingering around to yell at her. But from what she was picking up from Rogue's room, she didn't think they'd be making it out of that room for a while.

Rahne wasn't in her room when Jean opened the door, that hadn't even been locked apparently, although Jean had been sure that it had been before. She scanned the mansion ground for Rahne's signature mind. She smiled. She should have figured. She walked down to Remy's room and listened closely. She could hear talking and laughing within the room. She turned to leave when Remy's voice caught her attention. "Y' can come in y' know Jean. Wanna play?" Jean laughed as she stepped into the room. "How did you know I was there?" Remy just smiled at her and tapped his head. "I was going to try and unlock Rahne's door but you weren't there so I just came down here to check if you was here." Jean picked up the cards as Remy delt them out while looking at Rahne. Rahne smiled sheepishly. "Remy picked the lock and let me out." Remy just kept smiling. "Oh my God!" Jean squealed excitedly as she looked at him. "Oh my God! I never realized. Haha! You have dimples!" Jean was grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Haha, whooo." Jean was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. "Oh my God it's so cute!" Remy was still smiling embarrassed. Jean took his face in her hands as she looked over his face still laughing. Remy could still see the pain in the back her eyes as they all continued laughing at Remy's expense.


	5. Chapter 5

One Month Later

The kitchen was packed to full capacity. The noise in there was almost intolerable. Remy went around the the back entrance of the kitchen, away from where most of the children were crowding.  
"Psssttt. Jean!" Jean looked over at him from her spot at the bottom end of the table. He raised his eyebrows at her and grinned as she rolled her eyes and floated over to him a bagel and a cup of coffee, black, just the way he took it. He blew her kiss and a little tinkle wave before he disappeared into the other room and sat down on the couch. He and Jean had become pretty good friends. She was extremely nice and was always there to listen if he needed to talk.  
He was so tired lately. He went to bed early, woke up late and took naps in between and he was still exhausted. He became more fearful every day that it had come back. He wish he could tell someone, Jean even, and maybe she could calm his paranoid mind but then he's get nothing but pity from her from then on. He didn't want to tell anybody. He wanted people to get to know him because of who he was, not because they pitied him because of the novelty sickness in his past.

He had been experiencing dizzy spells a couple of times a day. The more days that went by the more spells he received. He was starting to panic by now and was looking for other signs of a relapse. Scott's voice suddenly blared from the intercom system. "Everyone is to report to the danger room for a surprise session." He sounded especially pissed this morning. Everyone grumbled as they shoved the last bits of their breakfast into their mouths and headed down to the lower levels. Remy groaned as he struggled up from the sitting positing and followed the crowd. Jean followed behind him, worried. Most people wouldn't notice but she did. She could see how he was unsteady on his feet and how he weaved slightly. She began to run to his side but the group of kids in front of her and behind him was making a wall of flesh she couldn't pass.

Scott split the students into several groups. Each group would have their turn at the simulator of sentinels and military units while protecting each other. The other teams got to watch from the sidelines. First went Rogue's team, consisting of Rogue (Of course), Bobby, Jubilee, Kitty, and Morph who had just recently joined the team. They easily dodged the lasers and flying metal while they protected themselves and took out the sentinels. Then came Jeans team, consisting of herself, Rahne, Sam, Roberto, and Ray. Their program was more difficult then Rogue's team's. Several people commented on that, but Scott paid them no mind. The rest of the Teams preformed until at last it was time for Remy's team. His team consisted of Wolverine, Tabitha, Kurt, Amara, and himself. Everyone could tell instantly that this could be the hardest program. Almost before the program had started, objects began flying. Remy grabbed Kurt by the collar of his uniform and pulled him out of the way of a laser beam, in the process of doing so they both fell, Kurt on top of Remy. Remy felt the air blown from his lungs and blacks spots invade his vision. They both quickly got up and ran to avoid getting hit by more items.

After a few more minutes Remy was hit with a very severe spell. He stood still for a moment trying to regain his ground. It felt as if he were in a dream and floating. His mind wouldn't work. He was positive that if he touched something his hand would go right through it. His vision was starting to get dark around he edges and moving inward. He never heard the voices of his team mates until it was to late to do anything. A shard of metal hit him in the chest so severely that his battle for remaining conscious was lost to suddenly for him to realize what had happened.

Wolverine was yelling at Scott to stop the simulation. Jean turned the simulation off as Rogue ran to Scott.

He turned on his heel and marched out of the room, Rogue following closely behind him. Everyone crowded crowded around Jean for a moment before she rushed down into the danger room, everyone else following.

Logan was gone, and Kurt was in his place, his hand at the base of Remy's neck, carefully monitoring his pulse. Everyone crowded around him. A few more moments and Logan ran back into he room, The Professor and Hank right behind him. Logan growled at them and everyone backed away.

"I'll have to take him down to the lab to determine the cause of this." Hank was rubbing his face with the back of his hand. "Um...Hank? I think he passed out because he got hit with a huge freaking chunk of metal." Everyone nodded in agreement with Tabitha's statement. " Yes, well, their might also be another reason. Logan informed me the he began swaying _before_ he was hit. That would imply that it was something else. If it turns out to be nothing I will release him in a few hours."

With that Logan picked up Remy with a grunt and cradled him in his arms. The Professor wheeled out with Hank following and Jean bringing up the rear. Everyone else began to chatter and they ran out of the room to spread the story.

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As soon as they got to the lab Hank set up heart monitor on Remy and took some blood samples to run through his machine. It was an amazing little machine. Put some blood in there and it would pick up any abnormalities in the blood. Of course it took about 12 hours to get the results, but the machine was very thorough. It only took him a few moments to clean Jean's wound and send her on her way.

He put the little vile with Remy's blood into the machine and closed the door. He went into his file cabinet.

An hour later saw Logan and Hank sitting at Hank's desk quietly talking.

Remy felt himself being pulled back to the world. His chest hurt like he had been hit with a truck. He could feel the bruise and slight swelling already. The heart monitor beeped loudly in his ear, aggravating the headache he already had. His eyes flashed open and the first thing he saw was Hank's concerned face.

"How are you feeling Remy?" His question was met with a shrug of Remy's shoulders as he sat up and began taking the wires for the monitor off of him and putting them on top of the machine.

"Thanks f' Everythin' Hank." With that he began walking towards the exit. Hank cleared his throat. "There is actually something...I am quiet embarrassed by this. I seem to have lost your medical records." Remy looked at him with a strange look on his face. "Lost 'em? What'cha talkin' 'bout Hank? You never got 'em." Hank looked puzzled. "Why not?" Remy looked a little...ashamed for some reason. "I didn't want anybody to have them. They're my business." "Well, is there any chance I could get them. I'm running some tests on your blood and I think you might want the results in there so if you go to a hospital they aren't running a whole bunch of useless tests on you." Remy looked pale all of a sudden. "Y' running tests on my blood?" Hank nodded. "Stop 'em. Stop the tests Hank!" Remy was nearing a panic. "I can't. You can't stop the tests once you've begun. It's impossible." He noticed Remy's hands were shaking terribly. "Y' can't?" S_hit_.

Remy sighed. This was going to happen whether he wanted it to or not. He might as well cooperate. "I'll get my sister to bring them by. It might take a couple hours. Don't expect to see her." With that he walked out of the room. Logan just sat there a little confused. "There's no way she'll make it past the security system."

Hank walked into his lab and sat down at his desk. There sat a folder. When he opened it he saw Remy's medical records. _Won't be able to get past the security eh?_


	6. Chapter 6

Remy lay down on his bed, his hands propped behind his head. He felt amazingly calm about this whole situation. He knew that in a matter of time, he could relax, or in a matter of time his world would come crashing down around him. A knock on his door threw him from his musings. He expected Rahne or Jean to come through the door but instead walked in Logan. "Hey kid," He said nodding in his directing. "I'm off to Canada for a few months. You want anything?" Remy rolled his eyes. "Canada is where people go when they don't have enough money to go on a real vacation. It's like a bootleg America." Logan chuckled.

"Kid, What was up with that scene in the danger room?" Remy shrugged. "I dunno. Just happened" Logan looked at him for a moment. "What did you eat before the session?" Remy thought for a second. "Nothin'. I had just gotten breakfast when The Holy One commanded our presence." Logan smiled broadly. "Thats what yur problem was. Yur blood sugar was to low so you passed out. No big deal. Just eat before the training sessions. Be late if you have to but just eat something." Logan patted his leg in comfort. "I gotta go now if I want to beat 5 o'clock traffic." He got up and closed the door softly behind him. Remy drifted off into sleep. He never noticed Rahne come in and lay down next to him. He just shifted his body to accommodate her next to him. In a couple of minutes she was asleep also, warm and protected with his arm around her waist, his face buried in her hair, breathing in her.

Hank stared at Remy's medical record. He couldn't believe his record. How could he have had this kind of trauma and not show any signs of it? This would explain his earlier panic when he found out about the blood test. At that second, The machine gave a shrill beep signaling it's finish. He walked over and took out the sample and grabbed the results printing from the machine before he went back to his desk, looking over the results with a frown on his kind face.

_Remy? Remy! Wake up!_ Jean smiled as Remy groaned and rolled onto his side to face her. _Hank wants you down in his lab. _Remy nodded and Jean closed the door behind her. He felt his stomach clench up in nervousness. He knew it was bad news. Good new they'd give you over the phone or something like that. Bad news you get in the office.

He gently unwrapped Rahne's arms from around him. This would have to stop. He couldn't do this while he was sick. He picked her up and her head lolled against his chest. He carried her down to her room and placed her on the bed. He knelt by her for a moment looking into her face. So sweet and innocent. So caring and happy. He pushed himself up with a groan before heading down to Hank's lab. He knew what he had to do.

Hank looked depressed as he gazed at Remy who sat in front of him. He sighed. "Well, I suppose you've already had your guesses about this. Considering the way you reacted yesterday and from your...history." Remy nodded. He felt numb. "What I want to know, is why you never told us. Does anyone here know?" Remy gave him a shake of the head. Another sigh. "You should have told someone. That way we could have watched for this and caught it sooner. How long have you had your suspicions?" Remy thought for a few moments. "About two months or so. I started feelin' like I had before. The bruises were a hint too." "Bruises?" Remy stood up and peeled back his shirt. "The bruise on my chest's from getting hit with that thinggy the other day. The other ones...they just showed up. I had gotten them last time too." Hank had him take his shirt entirely off. His chest was almost completely covered with one large bruise. His shoulders, back and arms were splotched with smaller, but no less severe looking bruises. "Oh my stars..."

Once Hank examined him they sat back at his desk. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone? It's nothing to be ashamed of." Now it was Remy's turn to sigh. "I didn't want anybody t' pity me 'k? I tried going t' school when I was a kid. Once they found out no one would come near me because they thought they might 'catch' it. The ones that dared come within five feet of me didn't know what to say. M' father and Tante Mattie would avoid talkin' 'bout certain things 'cause they didn't want to upset me." Hank pondered this for a moment. "Well then. I can certainly understand where your coming from. Okay. Back to business. Do you want to do chemo like you did before? Or would you rather try one of the new treatments-"

They decided he would have chemo at the Bayville Hospital. Hank requested that he sleep and eat some high calorie foods because, as he said, "There is no doubt that you will be losing weight during chemo. Weight you really shouldn't lose. So put some on now so you wont lose as much later." He knew he would lose weight. He wasn't stupid. Last time he had been put on fluids and nutrients because he couldn't hold anything down and he was losing to much weight.

Rahne woke up in her room confused. She could have sworn she was in Remy's room. Actually, she was positive she had been in his room. She just shrugged. He might have had to leave and didn't want her to wake up alone. It wasn't a big deal. She'd ask him the next time she saw him.

She put a CD into her stereo as she got dressed. It was a CD Remy had burned for her as a mix off of his computer. He had put a bunch of songs he knew she liked or songs he had thought she would have like considering her music tastes. The CD finished a Velvet Revolver cover of Money by Pink Floyd and moved into Carol King's I Feel The Earth Move. She was swaying and singing with the music as she threw on some clothes she had found on her floor. She may have worn them once but they were still clean. She wet her hair and ran some gel through her short locks. Her hair was only a couple of inches long now that she had sheered it off over the summer.

She ran to catch up with Remy in the hall. He was heading back towards his room. He didn't have to worry about Scott trying to pick a fight with him in the hall again because both he and Rogue had been sent to Emma Frost's academy and were forced to undergo mandatory counseling. He felt his heart sink as he heard Rahne coming up behind him and saw her shining face.

"Hey Remy! Where did you go this morning?" Without giving him a chance to answer she kept talking. " Me and Jeannie are going to the mall you want to come?" She looked up at him with a child's expectancy. He felt like such a monster. He knelt down and held Rahne at arms length by the shoulders. "Rahne, Theres somethin' y' need to do for me 'k?" Rahne nodded confused. "Y' and Jeannie? Y' can't come near me anymore. Y' can't talk to me, Y' can't look at me, Y' can't think 'bout me. Just forget y' knew me and everything we had together." He got up and walked into his room. He felt horrible when he saw those tears spill down her face. But he had turned fast enough that She hadn't seen the tears pour down his. He heard her run sobbing into her room and he felt the guilt begin tearing at him. He was sitting on the floor his back resting on the door.

_Y' fuckin' moron! Y' just threw away the best people y've ever known! Just 'cause y' to much of a wimp to tell them. Y' bastard! Y' just made one of the nicest people y've ever met cry 'cause you don't want her or Jeannie be around when the going gets tough! Thats what y've always done! Y' push people away and try to get through the hard things y'self cause you don't want t' put people through what y' know is coming. _

He felt a strangled sob flee his lips and he couldn't hold it in anymore as he staggered over to his bed. He knew that that was what he had to do. He couldn't et them suffer with him. That wouldn't be fair. The cries were pouring out of him and he felt like his heart was literally breaking in two.


	7. Chapter 7

I won't be updating for a while. I'm getting major writers block, and I didn't get very many reveiws. The less reviews I get the less I feel like writing and the harder it is for me to write. Thank-you to all of those who have reviewed. I love you!

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Jean was standing in the doorway of Rahne's room, watching the younger mutant pace around, picking up clothes on the floor and then throwing them across the room. She told Jean the story in angry bursts. When she was done, Jean could understand her anger. Hell, she was angry too, but she was also concerned. 

Rahne looked at Jean. Jean scrunched up her forehead and puckered her lips in thought. "I think we should go and talk to Hank. He might know whats going on." Seeing Rahne's confused look she explained. " That's why Remy put you back in your room this afternoon. Hank had wanted to talk to him." With that they both hurried out of Rahne's room and down to the lab.

Hank knew immediately what was going on when Jean and Rahne all but stormed into his lab. "Well I suppose he told you. Although he did tell _me_ not to tell anyone I should have guessed he would have told you. I would guess that you would be upset. Why you seem to be upset at _me_ I do not know." The girls stopped in their tracks and he automatically knew what had happened. He sighed. "He didn't tell you did he?" "Tell us what?" Jean asked, concern coloring her tone. Hank sighed again. He seemed to be doing a lot of sighing. "If he has not told you Jean, I cannot tell you. Patient confidentiality. You will have to wait for him to tell you." Rahne's anger had faded tremendously. "Hank," She whispered. "We can't ask him. He basically told us that he didn't want anything to do with us and to leave him alone. He told him to not even think about him and forget about him." Hank looked suddenly angry. "Of all the moronic things..." The girls stared shocked at him. Hank never got angry. He was always extremely kind and caring. He never raised his voice at anyone. He let his breath out slowly, counting to ten.

"I'm afraid girls, that if you do not need anything from me I should be getting back to work. I...also urge you to speak with him. Maybe he has changed him mind." He said this with encouragement as he gently kicked them out of his office.

Jean and Rahne didn't even bother knocking on his door, they just walked right in. Remy looked startled for a moment, then annoyed and sad. He looked back to the pamphlet thing he had been reading. "Y' can close t' door on y' way out." Jean was sick of this. "All right! Thats it!" She smacked the pamphlet out of him hands not even bothering to look at it as it slid under the bed. "Your going to _fucking_ tell us what the hell is going on." She growled in a way that would have made Logan proud. He just stared into her eyes until she looked away. "Non. I already told Rahne that I don't want y' guys near me." Rahne stepped away from her place behind Jean and stood in front of him.

"Why Remy?" She pleaded with him. "Why don't you want us near you? What did we do?" The pleading tone now fostered desperation. He was now angry. "Why? Why y' wanna be near me? Why do y' keep pressing this. I told you what I wanted. Whats so hard 'bout that heh?" Rahne's eyes filled with tears but none of them spilled. "'Cause I love you Remy," Her tone admitting defeat. He sighed, placing his arms around her shoulders, giving her a tight hug. "Love you too Rahne. But I can't give y' what you need." With that he walked out of his own room, leaving Jean comforting Rahne on the edge of his bed, as she cried brokenly.

Remy felt sick. After he had left Jean and Rahne in his room, he had gone up to Storms loft and out to her roof. He knew he'd have to do to her what he did to Rahne and Jean. The prospect wasn't a pleasant one. He didn't _like_ having to do this to everyone. He had to. The only he couldn't push away was Hank, but he could distance himself. He hated this. Why did this always happen to him? His life all around sucked. He rested his chin on his knees as it began raining heavily.

**Two weeks later. **

Everyone in the mansion could feel the tension. They could feel the ice cold chill that would overcome a room when Jean, Storm, or Rahne were in the vicinity of Remy. Everyone saw the looks Ororo, Rahne and Jean shared every time he passed by a door or walked through the room they were in.

Remy was down in the Med-lab waiting for Hank to make his appearance. Today was going to be his first chemotherapy session, the first in a predictably long line. He was going to have a session once every three weeks. He already knew how he was going to react to the chemotherapy so he had shaved his head a week before, and in turn received outrageous reactions. One incident included Hank getting in touch with his whimsical side, resulting in black flames being drawn on his head with a marker. It had taken him four days before he had finally had scrubbed them off.

Hank walked in, a little more somber then usual, holding a cereal bar in one hand and coffee in another. "Have you eaten breakfast this morning like I told you to?" Remy nodded. "Then I hope you won't mind if I enjoy mine." Remy shook his head. He was doing his best to look at the floor, or anywhere except Hank. Hank noticed this and wisely decided not to say anything until they got in the car.

As soon as Hank put the keys in the ignition, classical music became playing lightly, like back round noise. "Do you know who this is?" He asked as he began driving, paying attention to the road but looking at Remy. "One of my favorite musicians of course. Most teenagers don't know the classics anymore. It's such a shame. You kids don't know what you're missing." Hank stopped talking for a moment. "Chopin." Remy answered softy. Hank did a double take look at his face and broke into a happy smile. "Yes! That's wonderful. Do you listen to classical music?" Remy nodded and suddenly the mood dropped. Hank turned the radio off and began speaking to him in a kind voice.

"Remy, is there a reason why you refuse to look me in the face? Or a reason why your trying to talk as little as possible?" Remy just shrugged. The kind tone in Hank's voice almost made him break down. Hank exhaled his breath angrily, pulling over to the break down lane. He folded his arms across his chest. "We're sitting here until you feel like talking. And I don't advise you to miss this appointment." Remy pulled his knees up to his chest and tried unsuccessfully to shrink into himself, to try and avoid this conversation. Hank didn't make a move but his expression softened. He could only imagine what it had been like to have cancer as a child, and from his guess, Remy had never really dealt with it. From the signs hank had seen, Remy viewed it as a- it happened, It's done, Get over it- sort of thing.

Remy sighed defeated. "I jus' don't want t' be wastin' y' time, thats all. I know y' got things in y' lab you'd rather be doin'." Hank slowly pulled back onto the road but continued to talk to Remy. "I don't mind taking you. In fact I want to. I hardly get out anymore. And I always want you to know that I am here for any advice or support you may need. Really Remy, I do not mind at all." Remy looked at his face, unbelieving. Hank continued. "And I suppose this is why you've pushed away Ororo, Rahne, and Jean. You don't want them to waste their time?" He was unsurprised when Remy nodded, ashamed. "Remy, they are your friends. They care about you. They just want to help you and be there for you. They love you. They don't mind being there for you because thats what friends do for each other." Remy shook his head. "It's not just that Hank. I don't want them to see me like this and see how fucked up I am. If they see me like this? They'll never see me the same. Nothing will ever be the same. This way...At least this way they can remember me the way I was for the most part. I don't want them to remember me like this. I don't want to put them through t' pain I know is coming. I did that to Tante Mattie and Jean-luc, I don't want t do it to them." Remy nodded his head in understanding but didn't say anything. He was still pondering this.

Remy felt a shiver run down his spine as the car slid into the under ground garage and as they stepped into the elevator. He could feel the terror freeze in his stomach. He closed his eyes and tried to breath calmly, even as he felt the panic over come him.

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I hope you like this chapter. Please review cupcakes...mmmm, Cupcakes. 


	8. Chapter 8

I just wanted to take this extra time I had to answer peoples reviews and stuff. Makes me feel important, like I have fan mail, so just let me do it ok?

**BJ2- **I don't know how you missed this either! I will never put Remy with Rogue. Thats a big no-no in my books. I'm very sorry. In this story...thing, Logan is to old for him, and Jeannie... well I don't know. Maybe in the begining I could have done it, but I've played to much in the emotions of Rahne and Remy so I'm afraid you're gonna hafta put up with that pairing. I'LL SAVE YOU! Or I'll try!

**Bruna Aquino-** I've never drank coffee myself, and Alot of people I know are just getting into it in their teenage years. Most parents don't let their children drink coffee in America...Or no children I know of anyways. Thanks for the review sweetheart!

**Ima Super Mute Ant- **Yes. Sadness for no reviews. I'm glad you liked it! Yes I see you sent me a review! Claps I know there are spelling mistakes. Sorry for that!

**Fox Of Midnight-** I'm glas you like this story. I'm also glad that your proud of me. Poor Remy. I love torturing my favorites with angsty things. I hope everyone hates Rogue. It is the true order of things to hate her. Gambit really doesn't have a sister but I wanted to put her in there. You will be seeing more of her in later chapters, I promise.

**Sheisbeatuful-Sheisnotme- **I know this story is not that great. And I know the characters are way off, thats why I wanted you to forget what you knew about them. There is a reason for Scott putting his teammate in danger, you will find out later though. Too and to. I hate the person who invented that.

**PinkPunkMonkey- **I'm sorry hun. This will never be a Romy. Rogue is evil.

**Authorless-** I'm glad that my story is refreshing to you. And I would get busy, but not many people are reviewing so not many people must want my stories!

**Kitsu Lebeau- **I will try not to torture you. Yes this will be a Remy/Rahne fic. You seem to get very excited when you review. lol.

**Little Miss Tiny Shoes- **I like that you like it. Johnny says hi!

**Brazos- **I am continuing!

**Asheni-** Although I know that this is Kitsu Lebeau...well never mind. I'm glad you find this story orginal and I'm glad that you like it. And I'm happy to review on your stories any time.

**Nicole Wagner- **I don't understand why people don't use this kind of reality in there stories. It's there. Why not mine every good story you can out of real life? I'm watching my dad go through Chemo and radiation for Lung cancer right now so I can understand what you went through.

**Sirus40-** I don't think anyone will cry if I don't finish this! I think they'll just be pissed that I left it and they don't know what happens!

**Silent Doom- **I hate those I dea's that wont leave you alone. But a lot of my thoughts for stories follow after another story but everythings different. So I guess I could label it alternative universe right? I suck at interaction, but I'm only good at discription if I'm writing one of my fantsy stories on FictionPress.

**Salazar Vampiric Elf Luna Ash-** I am continuing!

**Takimi/Romy- **Yay! It didn't suck! You liked it! I am continuing see?

**Simba317- **Well I can't tell you if he dies now can I? That would ruin it! And Rogue can't be pregnant because he will never go near her again! Damn those storyboard people for doing that.

**Ms. Rogue Lebeau- **I'm updating as fast as I can!

**Hill-** You loser! You better start reviewing again because I know where you live remember?

I like to thank everyone for reviewing. PLease review on this chapter as well.

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Hank caught Remy by his thin arm when he staggered and slammed his shoulder into the wall with a crack. He held him steady when he threatened to fall. Hank could see the signs of a panic attack. He tugged him into the waiting room and Remy just seemed to get more agitated. He sat in one of the chairs, his eyes flickering repeatedly to the entrance and exits. Then a nurse appeared in the doorway. "Mr...Lebu...Is that how you say it?" Hank corrected her. "Oh! I'm sorry. Come this way Mr.Lebeau." She lead them down the hall and into a empty room. It's white walls caused shivers to run up Remy's spine. 

She hooked him up to the machine and Hank became worried when Remy didn't react to anything, even to having a needle shoved into his vain. He followed the nurse outside and asked her about his reactions, or lack therefore of. She calmly explained to him that Remy was probably trying to block out his feelings and reactions because he was still trying to work through everything that had happened to him. "Chemotherapy is a place of pain for him. He doesn't want to do this again so he's distancing himself." She took a small notepad from out of her pocket and scribbled a name on it. "We have lists of therapists on hand for this sort of thing. You might want to encourage him to go. This is one of the best therapists I've ever met. He could do wonders for him." With that she handed him the paper and walked away.

Remy was right where he left him, sitting glazed eyed at the edge of the bed that sat in the middle of the room. Hank made up his mind. This boy was going to therapy and he could whine and bitch all he liked, but he was going. He needed to deal with this. They spent the remainder of the time in uncomfortable silence. As they sat in the car driving home they spent their time in uncomfortable silence, until Remy drifted off to sleep.

Hank gently shook his shoulder and was rewarded a groan. "We're at the mansion." Sure enough the mansion loomed in front of them in it's majestic glory. He got out slowly and slammed the door. He thanked Hank again before rushing off to his room.

He walked to his room and stopped. The door was part-way open. He knew someone had been in there because only one person besides himself could get a lock open.

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Jubilee walked in the room, her normally joyful face troubled. "Does anyone know whats going on with Gambit?" Jean snorted. "You mean besides his sudden case of bitchiness? Nothing at all." Jubilee looked at her closely for a moment. "Actually I think it's something more serious. I just heard Hank talking on the phone with a bunch of doctors and hospitals and stuff." Everyone gasped. "You mean..he's...gonna die or something?" Rahne asked. "Maybe." Jubilee shrugged. "It sounded serious though." "Jesus." Everyone watched Jean flee the room. Rahne waited a moment before running after her. She caught up to her in Remy's room. She had popped open the lock on his door and was searching under the bed on her hands and knees. "Oh my God." Jean held up the pamphlet that Remy had been holding when they had stormed into his room a couple of weeks ago. _How to work through a disease: Terminal and Non,_ was printed across the cover. "We should have looked, should have asked." With that she ran back out of the room and into the rec room where everyone else was. she threw the pamphlet onto the coffee table. Everyone gathered around. By now everyone was worried. They flipped through until they reached a page with a folder corner. "Stop!" Bobby was looking at the fold. "People only do that when their saving a page. I've seen a lot of people who read do that." _AID'S_ stared back at them. "He has AID's? Oh my God." Rahne wondered who he was sleeping with to have gotten it from. Just then the object of their worriment stood in the doorway, anger across his face. 

"You have AID'S?" Everyone asked in unison. Remy took a step back, uncertain about what they were talking about. Rahne held up the pamphlet, opened to the page about AID'S, holding it by the corner like it was contaminated. Remy recognized the book. "What the fuck were y' doin' in my room? Heh Jean?" As he said this he glared daggers into her. "This isn't about that." She said in defense. "It's about you not tell us you had AID's. We're your friends. We're not going to abandon you because of that." Remy rolled his eyes. He was very angry by now, and everyone could see his eye glowing hotly, something they've never seen happen before. Jean was not going to be frightened by this and held her ground. He sneered at her. "Y' the telepath Jeannie. Y; should be able to figure it out." With to long strides he was in front of her and snatched the pamphlet out of Rahne's hands. He flipped to a page and slammed it down on the table. "I don't fuckin' have AID's. Y' should figure out what the hell y' talkin' about _before_ y' go talkin'." He walked out of the room in a rush of anger. Everyone stared at the new page. Some sentences were highlighted in Hanks precise handwriting if thats what you could call it. _Leukemia _glared accusingly at them.

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Time to review, or time to DIE!  



	9. Chapter 9

Thank-you everyone who has reviewed thus far and encouraged me to continue writing.

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Jean felt remorse constricting her chest. She wished she had never gone into his room, and even worse, pass along a piece of _HIS_ information when she hadn't even spoken to him about it. Everyone by now had left the room. Jean sat alone in one of the recliners head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. She could just remember, with painful clarity the look of betrayal that Remy had given her before he had stormed out of the room. That had hurt more then anything else. 

Rahne walked into the room, shoulders hunched in defeat. "I couldn't get him to open the door. He wouldn't even talk to me, he just cranked his music up and ignored me. I tried for twenty minutes Jean. He's seriously pissed." She perched on the arm of the chair and gazed at Jean, her look pleading for Jean to tell her what to do to make this problem better.

Jean gave a tired sigh as she pushed herself up and began walking towards the stairs. Rahne had never seen Jean look more tired. Her whole body seemed to sag and looked about to fall under from the effort of keeping herself up.

Standing at the door she pressed her each against the thick wood. "He's not blasting it anymore, but whatever this shit is, it's like, depressing or something really...I don't know. I don't like it though, especially when he's like, depressed or angsty or whatever he is." "Your saying like, Jean." Jean grimaced. "Sorry. I'm starting to sound like Kitty. Lord save us from that." Rahne chuckled. She came to listen next to Jean. "It's Voodoo by Godsmack." She said after a moment. "Its a song about heroin or something I think." Jean looked thoughtful for a moment. "I know how we can get in." She grabbed Rahne by the wrist and dragged her down the hall.

Remy started when the window flew open. His mind relaxed knowing that it was not an attacker but he stiffened as Jean flew in the room, Rahne gripped tightly by her side. He felt adrenaline course through his body as he thought about all the possible ways this confrontation could end up. He just didn't want to feel that tearing pain though his chest when his friends walked out the door, leaving him alone. When Rahne's feet touched the floor she stood there, still for a moment. She walked over to where he was laying, lanky body stretched out across the black comforter on the bed, Black Gibson resting on his chest, left hand gripping the neck as if he had been playing, right hand resting on his stomach. He gazed at her as though she would suddenly turn away and she felt her heart give a sharp twist in her chest. She lay on the bed with him and pressed herself up close, head resting in the crook of his arm. He closed his eyes as if trying to savor the moment, as if it would suddenly be taken away. Jean smiled and floated back out the window, deciding that she could talk to him later and left them in peace.

Remy felt himself calm down. He carefully put the guitar on the floor and turned onto his side, wrapping his arms around Rahne as she leaned into his touch. They fell asleep like that, wrapped around each other. He figured that at least if she dropped him stone cold, he would still have this one memory to cling on to.

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Sorry this took so long. I was just struck with the urge to write a new chapter while I was home. In November my dad died while I was home and I didn't feel like writing anything that month and you know how hecktic the holiday season can be. I promise that I'll try to finish the story, I just can't say when this will be. Please read it my chickens. And hope that my boyfriend won't take up all the space in my head and I can write something else next month. I doubt it though. He lives there. Sorry this chapter's so pitiful. I don't even think it makes sence, but you guys might like it. R&R.  



	10. Chapter 10

Oh yeah. I updated. Im out for the summer so expect me to crank out lots of stories and chapters. If I don't...Im watching the paint dry and have lost all sense of sanity. Save me. As always, Please review. This will not be a tear jerking touching chapter. That will be the next one...or there about. I decided to let Remy have a break and have some fun with his new friends.

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Remy stayed still even though he was filled with post-nap power hype. He wanted to stay in this position forever, even though his arm had fallen asleep. Rahne laid molded against him, head resting on his arm which was curled around her shoulders. He didn't want this peaceful feeling that rested on him to leave. But he had to move his arm! It was just starting to hurt to much to leave it like this! A sharp rapping on the door made his decision. Rahne stirred and pushed herself closer to him, breathing a deep sigh. He tried as gently as he could to slid his arm out from under her and pushed himself off the bed and flung open the door. There stood Hank, his fist posed to knock again. He slowly lowered it as he looked at his young charge. 

A spark that had long been missing had found it's way back into his eyes. There was more color in his pale face and he seemed to have more energy then he had recently been having. Hank took off the glasses which had been perched on the end of his nose and began cleaning them with a cloth from his shirt breast pocket. Remy recognized this as what Hank did when he was nervous. He knew it would be very difficult to get Remy to comply with what he had told the doctors he would get Remy to do.

Rahne opened Remy's door and dropped onto his bed, stretching out and looked at him. He sat at the computer with a bored expression plastered onto his face. Some chat room thing was popped up on his screen and he was scanning the words with apparently no interest. He leaned over the back of the chair and cracked his back. He caught her gaze and rolled his eyes.

"Why are ye doing that if you don't want to?" Genuinely curious. She had gotten to know Remy very well and knew that he would not do something he didn't want to do unless he **had** to do it.

He groaned. "Hank's worried 'bout m' "emotional state of mind". Or some shit like that. Doctor stuff ya know? Makin' me do online therapy junk 'cause I refused to go to a shrink. Now I get "group" therapy. Twice a week I get to sit on here for an hour. Hank's gonna check up with them to see if 'm doin' it too." He sighed with frustration.

Rahne walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck till they were cheek to cheek. "Hank cares about you. Theres nothing wrong with that. I worry about you too." She kissed him softly on the cheek before returning to the bed.

"Urg. We got forced into a killer training session. Bobby freaking Iced me to the floor. Wake me up when your done. I got plans." She rolled over and smothered her face in the pillow and Remy watched in amusement as she fell dead asleep.

He sighed and put his head to his hand and checked the clock. He still had forty-six minutes left.

He couldn't help his intake of breath as Rahne walked down the stairs with Jean and Amara. She was wearing a tight pair of jeans and a half shirt with graffiti written on it in different colored inks. Her hair was loose and fell in waves to her shoulders.

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"Y' look beautiful," He whispered in her ear as they and Jean, Amara, Bobby, Ray, and even Ororo piled into the car. "I don't trust any of you kids driving. I might end up with a convertible." Storm joked as she keyed the ignition and backed out of the driveway. Everyone laughed because they knew she was right. A few months ago a few of them went joy riding and actually had taken off one of the doors as they were sideswiped. Needless to say, none of the students were allowed to drive cars without supervision unless it was licensed to themselves.

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The parking lot to the bowling alley was packed. They drove around the parking lot for five minutes before finally parking on the shoulder of the street half on the grass. 

"Oh right! You complain about my parking." Bobby whined as they hiked up the small embankment. Everyone laughed.

Rahne looked curiously as Remy. He had an odd look on his face.

"Whats wrong?" She asked as she slipped her hand into his. He just shrugged his shoulders before answering. "I've never bowled before. I know how your supposed to do it but I've never done it before." She laughed. "Is that all? None of us can bowl very well and Amara's never bowled before either. Don't worry babe. Your in safe hands tonight. You'll have fun." He resigned himself to his fate as she forcibly dragged him across the parking lot ahead of everyone else, laughing at the moon.

Inside people were everywhere. Laughing and drinking and pushing at each other from the arcade machines. They paid for there shoes (Remy almost walked out when he saw those). Finally Rahne persuaded him to put them on then the went and claimed their lane. The game got underway.

The manager put on the black lights and the walls and anything white glowed.

"Shit. gutter ball." Amara looked crestfallen as the went to go lean against the electronic scoring table. Remy laughed. He couldn't say anything about her playing since he was right behind her. Ray and Jean were currently trying to maim each other in Mortal Combat. Ororo was just laughing at everyone's crazy antics. Bobby had bought a glow stick paint stick, so currently, he, Rahne and Remy were covered in glowing graffiti. Remy had gone and bought glowing bracelets for himself and necklaces for Rahne. Bobby, Remy and Rahne were chasing each other with cans of silly string and disrupting the other players.

They were talking loudly as they were walking back to the car, sliding down the embankment.

"Pfft! Oh yeah. Master of skills. I bow to your awesomeness." Bobby made a mock bowing motion at Remy. "Not all of us can play as well as you." "Oh shut-" Bobby continued as if he never heard him. "Look at the pins...oh yeah your lined up. That would have been a strike but noooo. Swing your arm and, wait, whats that? Where did the ball go?" Bobby laughed hard. "Not all of us can throw our bowling balls backwards." Remy grumbled but turned bright red and couldn't help the grin that played on his face. "My fingers got stuck. Shut up. Y' nailed some old lady with silly string and got whacked with her purse." He laughed. "I've only seen that happen on T.V. So glad I could wittiness it in person." "I smell like booze." Jean whined. Somebody-" she said with emphasis, looking at Ray, "knocked some guy's beer on me." Ray rolled his eyes. "I said I was sorry."

They got into the car and pulled onto the road. "I'm so glad I came. You guys would have killed yourselves on the way home. I haven't seen a night as hilarious as this in years." They spent the rest of the half hour drive singing loudly and off-key with the radio.

Remy and Rahne dragged themselves to Remy's room and fell through the door onto the bed. Everyone else was just as exhausted as themselves. Needlessly Remy asked, "You sleeping here tonight?" Rahne just replied by moving closer to him. Her eyes flashed open. Remy sat up and watched her for a moment. "Have you called your family and told them about your current...situation?" Remy flopped back on the pillows and groaned. This night had been going so well. Why did he need this reminder. "Your calling them in the morning," Rahne stated firmly and leaned back against him. They fell asleep in a matter of minutes, Covered in silly string and and glow stick paint, Rahne in Remy's arms. The mansion was silent.

* * *

Please review. I took the incident with the backwards bowling ball out of my own expieriance. Except I hit my boyfriend in the leg with mine and dented the floor. I spared Remy from doing that. lol. Well, I hope someone likes this chapter and reviews. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It was fun to wrdite, and alot of this stuff was taken from my own experience with my friends. 

Also, I want to work on some new stories. If anyone has a pairing(couple) that they'd like me to work on, tell me and I'll see what I can do. Please, no Romy. Love all of you! Please review or you'll make me sad!


	11. Chapter 11

Hello my wonderful readers. Here is a new chapter for your enjoyment.

* * *

Rahne woke up in the morning with the sun peeking through the curtains and heard the shower running through the door. She groaned. She would have to take a shower too. The glow stick paint had dried and was irritating her skin.  
Remy walked out of the bathroom and saw Rahne awake laying on the bed. He felt uncomfortable as he realized he hadn't brought any clothes in with him. He walked out trying to ignore his feelings as the towel thrown around his waist was reminding him.  
She noticed the odd look on his face but couldn't tell what it was. She picked up the phone by the bedside. "I'm going to take a shower, call your family." She threw the phone at him and he barely caught it. He watched her with lost eyes as she entered the bathroom.  
Remy just sat on the bed, phone cradled in his hands, unsure of what to do. He dialed the familiar number in what felt like a cloud of unfamiliarity as he sat on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but the towel and shivered as a wave of nervousness hit him.  
What was he going to say? How could he do this to them again? How could he make them go through this again? He couldn't make them worry like that. How would he break this to them?   
The dial tone burned in his ear and his fathers voice on the other end of the line was like a gun shot. He closed his eyes tightly and dropped the phone onto the receiver. 

He looked at Rahne as she came back into the room.. "I couldn't do it," was all he would say. She lay down next to him and patted his arm in understanding, her hands still warm from her shower. He leaned back until his head rested on her chest, just tired. He just wanted to sleep. He didn't want to have to wake up and deal with life. He laughed cruelly to himself. It didn't matter how much he didn't want to deal with life, it always seemed to throw him problems that needed to be dealt with. He sighed and clenched his eyes shut, willing himself to go to sleep.

Remy was sitting on the couch playing solitaire onto the coffee table and watching The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. He was lazily flipping the deck of cards from hand to hand has Rahne sat on the floor, her head between his legs. He felt comfortable, just sitting like this. His energy level was still a little low, but not as low it had been. He watched as Billy's father jumped out from behind the bush and yelled "Ragelfragel" And grabbed Billy up and ran away. Grim and Mandy continued eating as nothing had happened. He loved cartoons. That was something not many people knew. He had never watched them much as a kid, but now in his old age he had discovered them and was addicted.

When he had walked in Jubilee and Amara had been watching Queer eye for the straight guy. It had been an episode where the wife was four months into remission. He had seen it before. But as soon as he walked in, they took one look at him and scrambled to change the channel.

_This is why I didn't want anyone to know. They start acting different towards me, and I can see the pity in there eyes. People start apologizing left and right if they brush me in the hall, either afraid they've broken me, or afraid they might... "catch" cancer._ He shook his head in frustration. Why couldn't people understand that he was the same as he had always been? People stared at him on the street, and went out of their way to avoid contact. He had actually stopped going out because he knew he was making people uncomfortable, making them feel awkward. They looked at his shaved head and thin body, getting thinner by the day, and knew. They treated him like a leper.

When he was on the Internet for therapy it was even worse. People didn't talk to him with pity, instead they acted like they understood him. He thought therapy was a waste of time because he never told them anything. He told them what they wanted to hear, he got by without having to actually do anything and put in his time. He didn't want to discuss things, things he had locked away within himself from when he was a child. He didn't want to bring those feelings back to the surface.

Scott appeared in the doorway of the rec-room, his brow furrowed. He inclined his head towards Remy. "You have a phone call." He sounded puzzled, and indeed Scott was. In all the time Remy had been at the mansion he had never once gotten a phone call. Remy looked equally as puzzled as he made his way to the hall way, passing Scott who leaned away from him as if he would catch something. Remy shook his head. One in the hallway the phone was off the receiver. He picked it up wondering who it was. Had Jean Luc or Mattie traced his call? The sounds he heard were anything but his father's quiet study. It was noisy, he could hear voices talking loudly, calling out to one another and deafening music with cranked up bass playing. He wondered momentarily if it was Logan maybe, calling from a bar. "Hello?" Maybe there was no one there at all.

"Hello yourself." The speaker laughed and he recognized the woman, no girl's deep voice that might have gotten her mistaken for a young boy. He almost dropped the phone as he realized his hands were trembling uncontrollable.

* * *

Hope you liked! Sorry it took so long, I didn't get around to touching it up as soon as I had hoped. Oh well, you got it in the end!  



	12. Chapter 12

He picked the phone off the floor, his fingers shaking, his mind whirling.

"April?" He whispered unbelievingly.

"Why are you so surprised?" She laughed deeply.

"Where are you?" Maybe she was in trouble. It sounded like she was in a bar, someplace he definitely did not want his sister.

"Out." She answered nonchalantly. He could imagine that she was shrugging her shoulders.

"You gonna come up next weekend, or you feel to much like shit?" He furrowed his brow confused. What was next weekend.

She seemed a little disappointed. "Never mind"

He laughed, trying to make her feel better. "Of course I'll be there." He felt ashamed. How could he have forgotten? He knew how much her birthday meant to her. This year she'd be 16. He assured her over and over again until she was yet again laughing.

"Hey, I gotta go. Heather just walked in." He laughed. He didn't care that his little sister was a lesbian, and he actually really liked Heather. He thought they were cute.

"I'll see you later then!" He was caught off guard by the final words she said.

"Have you told dad yet?"

His anger flared. He slammed the phone onto the receiver.

How could he tell her something like this? He still hadn't told Rahne about having this cancer when he was a child. He was unsure about how to do this. He knew she needed to know though. Should he drop it off during a conversation, like "yeah, when I was little I had cancer, you were saying?" Or maybe he should sit her down and have a conversation. On second though, he'd let her come to him if she had a question. No use admitting to something unless asked.

"Morning." Rahne sighed and snuggled up under Remy's chin. She really didn't want to wake him up, but he had chemo today. She hated days like this. He would be permanently stationed in the bathroom, bowing to the porcelain god. She knew he felt like shit, but she also knew he needed it to get well. She propped herself on her elbow and shook Remy's shoulder when he refused to rouse from his coma.

"Come on, Rem!" He cracked an eye open at her.

"Leave me be," he groaned. He pulled the covers over his head.

Rahne got out of bed. She went over to one of the drawers and searched the labels on the vials of pills. She pulled one out and it rattled as she shook two of the little pills out. She took them and a glass of water and put them on the nightstand. She shook Remy until he woke up.

"Wake up." he always took so long to wake in the morning. It seemed as if he was starting to become to physically and emotionally exhausted.

He sat up and placed his feet on the floor, his arms resting on his knees, his hands hanging limply. His head was lowered almost to his knees, like he was too tired to keep it up for long.

"Come on Remy." She said tiredly. She made him raise his head and placed the glass into one hand and the pills in the palm of his other. She put the vial on the nightstand, and the cap next to it. She'd close it in a minute, but now she was watching Remy to make sure he didn't drop them.

He stared at the for a moment. His eyes looked tired. The red and black of his eyes were becoming dull. There was no more sparkle in them. She was hoping that once this was over, he'd be back to normal.

"No." He clenched the hand that was holding the pills into a fist.

"Why not?" She was irritated. "You have to take them before you can have you chemo done." Rahne was usually very patient, but the stress of this whole ordeal was finally fraying her nerves.

"I'm not going to. I'm sick of this. I can't do this again."

She rolled her eyes. "For goodness sake! Just take the pills. Your need the chemo." She tried to calm herself down. This had to be much harder on Remy then for her.

"Don't treat me like a child Rahne. I know how to make my own decisions. I'm not taking the pills, because I'm not taking chemo." He was angry. How dare her! He was a grown man and he was making these kinds of choices long before he ever met her. Now she was pissed.

"Fine, go die then. See if I care." If he was just going to give up, so would she. She wasn't going to beg and plead for him to act like a brat. "Just live and die with this infection."

He stood up shaking. He looked as if he didn't have the strength to stand. "So that's it? I'm a contamination to you?" He threw the glass to the floor. It shattered like crystal and the water soaked into the carpet.

"You wanna know what Rahne? It's not called being "infected", it's called having a relapse. As in, I've had this before and it came back. You think I'm being a bitch?" He ignored the tears that were making their way down Rahne's cheeks and her ragged breathing as he hollered straight in her face. "Well you try living in a body that's always trying to destroy itself! You try living everyday knowing that it can, and will come back, maybe to kill you! Try having chemicals shoved into you because your body's too fucked up to fight!" She was sobbing by this point.

"I'm not going to sit and be miserable to have a treatment and take all the drugs so I can be killed with an overload of chemicals. I'd rather just let my body turn on itself and self destruct. That's what it wants do to."

He stormed out of the room, leaving Rahne sobbing in the middle of an empty room, broken glass around her feet.

* * *

Hey...Sorry guys that it's taken so long. They took away my computer while I was at school 'cause I don't have a 3.0 GPA...it sucks, but oh well. I am still working on this story though, be rest assured. Though I am yet again going to be grounded from the computer for about a month...this is what the library computer is for, and this is why I can write long handed. So don't worry, more updates will be coming. I know this chapter sucks...I'm debating whether I should take down all the chapters and just redo the entire story... Well I'll stop carrying on now. Review please!


	13. Chapter 13

A few hours later saw Remy sitting impatiently in the med lab. He tapped his foot against the linoleum as he swiveled in circles on one of the blue leather covered stools.

"Are you trying to make yourself sick?" Hank McCoy asked Remy, unamused as he entered the med lab.

"I thought I was already sick? Unless you lied to me. You did didn't you? You work for the man, thats right, you have to convince everyone that they're sick. Thats why we all have ADHD and we're all on medication isn't it?" Remy grinned as he said this. Hank complained over and over to anyone who was willing to listen, and even those who were not, about how he felt on doctors over prescribing and misdiagnosing ADHD. It was the bane of his existence.

"Remy. Stop spinning, your going to make _me_ sick." Hank grabbed the stool to prevent Remy from spinning anymore.

"Aw, Doc, your no fun." He pretended to pout. Hank rolled his eyes before he walked into the secluded back room that served as his office.

Remy waited for it and soon enough, a few minuted later, Hank popped his head out.

"Remy..." Hank began cautiously. "You know you have chemotherapy today, right?"

Remy nodded his head. "Oui."

"And you aren't there because...?"

Remy took a deep breath. This was going to be the hard part.

"Because I'm not going to do it anymore."

Hank stared at him incredulously. He stepped out of his office and stood in front of Remy. He crossed his arms and watched as Remy refused me meet his eyes.

"And why, pray tell, is that?" Hank waited patiently for an answer, though he wanted to shake the boy in front of him by the shoulders to shake some sense into him.

Remy leaned back on the stool. "Aw, come on Hank. I researched on the Internet. I know I probably don't have a good shot at this the second time around."

Hank took a deep breath. "You still have a good chance."

Remy snorted. "Ya know, you never did tell me how much of a shot I did have. So what, are you not going to tell me if they told you I have 6 months to live?"

"I would tell you."

"Would you now." Remy raised his eyebrows. "See, here's the thing, I don't think you would." He spoke again before Hank had the chance to reply. "So what's my chance, in percent if you please. I know you've looked up the percent. Whats the percent that I won't make it out of this the second time?

Hank's eyes found the ceiling as he let go of the frustrated breath he had been holding.

"80."

Remy laughed. Hank flinched as there was no ounce of humor in it, only bitterness.

"You have me killing myself with chemicals for an 80 shot that I'll be dead? Are you insane?"

"No Remy." Hank snapped. "You're insane, don't you understand that? You can't look at it as an 80 shot at death. You have to look at it as 20 chance at _life_. Any chance at life if worth fighting for!"

Remy stood up, finished with this conversation. "Not all the time Hank, not if that life holds nothing for you."

He walked out the door.

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Ok, so do you guys like? Review please! I love you guys! 


	14. Chapter 14

Jean followed the turmoiled thoughts that should could feel tickling the edges of her shields. The thoughts led her up to Rahne's room, a room that Rahne herself hadn't been in much of late. Jean knocked lightly on the door. No one answered. She pressed her ear up against the wood. Yes, there was definitely someone in there, she could here breathing. She shook her head at herself, amused. She had been picking up on Logan's habits lately.

She opened the door and was immediately concerned as Rahne was curled in the fetal position on her bed. Not only that, but she was in wolf form, which everyone knew she didn't like being in. It brought bad bad memories for her.

Jean sat on the edge of the bed. It dipped under her slight weight. Wolf-Rahne nudged her wet nose under Jean's palm. She rested her had on her furry head. Jean connected telepathically with her. With a normal animal it wouldn't have worked, their thought process was different then that of a human. But even in wolf form, Rahne's mind was entirely human.

_Rahne, what's wrong?_

_Nothing._ The way she said it, Jean could feel her trying to shield some of her thoughts.

_You can tell me. I'm your friend. I just want to try and help if I can._

Rahne sighed and her mind opened.

_He thinks that I think of him...like some pariah. I don't! It's just..._

_It's harder than you expected._

Wolf-Rahne's headed nodded once before she let out a sigh and rested her head on her paw, eyes sad.

_I'll admit it, at first I figured it would be easy. I've never met anyone with cancer, ya know? I figured, maybe we'd have to adjust at first. I thought it wouldn't affect anything to much. I kind of thought of it like dating someone with diabetes. It's there, you live with it, it makes things a little bit harder, but it relatively doesn't affect too much. And now that I know how hard it is...I love him...but I'm not sure if I can do it._

Jean nodded. She understood what Rahne was saying, and she felt for the girl but..._If you want out, you need to tell him now. Don't keep dragging him along._

Rahne shook her head again._ I think after this morning we might just be over anyway._

Jean nudged Wolf-Rahne. "Meet me downstairs." Jean made the move to get up. Rhane shifted and suddenly she was very much sitting on the bed, very much naked.

"Ok..." She got up and slowly started rummaging through her drawers for something to wear.

Logan walked in the back door and dropped his heavy black duffel back on the tiled floor. Jean and Rahne were drinking coffee at the table. They barely even lifted their eyes to look at him. Their behavior was pretty weird...even for them.

"Who's dying?" He asked in a loud voice, joking of course. The two angry glares that snapped up to his face let him know instantly that something was very wrong. And he had a feeling he knew who it involved. His stomach sunk.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey, kid." Logan tried knocking on the door again.

Remy was sitting on his bed holding a photo album in his lap. He vaguely wondered if Logan would be going away yet, he was giving him a headache.

Remy loved pictures. They always brought him back the same feelings he had at the time of the pictures, if only a ghost of those feelings. They were worth many words, more than the thousand they always said they held. He never had to keep a journal in his life to remember events, remember things that had been said, kisses shared, or feelings had. He just had to look at the pictures and remember.

This here was a picture of Remy, Jean, and Kitty. They were all sitting on the table in the kitchen. They were covered in flour, dough, and food coloring. The kitchen itself was a mess, but the cleaning after had been just as much fun as making the mess. The Professor had been the one to ask to take the picture, his reason he said was to post the picture as yet another reason why they should not be allowed in the kitchen.

He actually had hair in that picture. It was a slight shock to see that now. He didn't look like how he knew of himself to look. He knew his head was shaved and a few people on the street had thought he was some kind of skin head. He was thinner, maybe twenty pounds thinner at this point. He just couldn't connect the man in the picture to the man he was now. He couldn't wrap his head around that in just a few months, things could change so drastically.

His limbs felt heavy, no, not just his limbs, everything. His head felt too heavy, like he couldn't hold it up for long. He didn't think he would be able to move after much longer. That thought scared him.

He stood up and his knees popped. He felt just so damn _OLD. _Achy and no energy. He cast a glance at the window but threw that thought out. As much as he hated to admit it, he just wouldn't be able to climb on the roof right now. He wanted some _air,_something that was seriously lacking in his funeral-prepared room.

Thankfully it seemed as though Logan had finally moved on. Remy didn't realize that Logan was due home this early, and he sorely wished that he had been able to talk to him, catch up, but he couldn't stand the pity that was surely to be on his face.

He by-passed all the rooms where people where (there was surprisingly a lot. Or maybe not so surprising. It's not like he had gone anywhere except his room much in a while.)

He started his convertible and peeled out of the driveway. No one heard him. He started driving, driving anywhere. He ended up in town and stopped to fill up him not-often used car. As he went inside to pay to got struck by a thought. He grabbed some junk food munchies and a coke before returning to his car. He threw it onto the seat next to him and left. He drove onto the highway ramp and headed south.

Why go back to the mansion at all. It was time he faced some demons.


	16. Chapter 16

Oh come child  
Come and rescue me  
'Cause you have seen some  
Unbelievable things...

-Cross bones Style by Cat Power

The I-84 diner looked like a real old fashioned diner. Well, a newly made one created to look like an old fashioned one. The reflective metal was too shiny and the waitresses didn't call you "hun". Remy skipped right over eating an actual meal (though he had glanced at the waffles) and just went for the pastry. He had been on a (not agreed upon) diet, eating healthy (because that was somehow going to fix things). And damn it, he just wanted to eat something completely void of nutritional value. Something so sweet that his teeth tingled and ached.

There was Bavarian Cheese Cake, Apple Strudel, Strawberry tarts, Éclairs, Boston Cream Pie, Almond Horns, Baklava...mmm, damn it looked good in that display case. He settled on Black Forest Layer cake (because everything was best when chocolate). His order came quickly and he savored it even though he wanted to scarf it down.

When he finished it he felt the need to shave his tongue.

He left and got back into his car and got back on I-84. His teeth were killing him.

* * *

Rahne peeked into Remy's room. Somehow over the last few ours it had changed from "their" room to "Remy's" room. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"Remy?" She looked around. She looked through the mansion. Called him on the intercom. Finally she looked in the car and discovered that his car was gone. For some reason she couldn't identify, that made her mad. Not mad. Pissed. She was going through all this crap for him, and what does he do? Runs off!

She called his cellphone just to see if he had just run into town for something. But what could he need? She went out and got everything he would need! _SHE_ was the one who made sure he was taken care of!

_I've put MY life on hold for him, and he doesn't even have the decently to tell me when he's going out? What if he catches something from someone? Hi immune system couldn't take it!_

"Fuck YOU!" She yelled down the hall towards his door when he didn't answer his cell.

"Ray?" She leaned against his doorway and when he opened the door and the love of his life was standing there he almost keeled over. He didn't protest as she covered his lips with her own and closed the door behind them.

Tonight she wouldn't be lonely. Tonight she was going to get her reward. Fuck everyone else. Fuck Remy.

* * *

Who knew what would happen? He used to live at the roll of the dice, of chance, the luck of the draw. And now what was he doing? Trying to force lady luck to come his way? It wasn't going to work. Kurt had come to him to pray with him at first, and though Remy appreciated the effort, he had never had much faith to begin with. God, if he was up there, had better things to do than help this scoundrel live a bit longer. He wished he believed in some higher power, he really did. But you can't force something that's just not there. The love of some God wasn't something that could be seen on his face like it could on his father's or Rahne's.

It wasn't that he valued his life less than anyone else. He would die for some people. But even he knew he had the same right to live. You get to realize this injustice when you live on the streets and as people push past you they tell you to go die because of your demon eyes. Some people may not agree with him, but their opinion didn't matter to him.

He wasn't giving up either. Not necessarily. 20 of a chance? That wasn't a very good chance. Yes, he lived for chances, but it had never before been a chance that involved his life.

He felt like Rahne had just stepped in and taken control, as had Hank, his doctors at the hospital, and to a lesser degree, Jean, without ever asking him, assuming that he could want chemotherapy. That he would want to as last try. But why try? Why spend your whole life trying? What would trying get him? Maybe a few extra months? A few years? Of going through constant rounds of chemo, of puking, and wasting away, becoming dependent on others? Being a burden? He wished the answer was simple, something clear cut instead of trying to muddle through all this. _Live or die, just give me one or the other_ he thought.

He shook his head, trying to shake out his thoughts. _I know what will make me feel more myself._

He put in his Germs CD and cranked the volume.

* * *

Rahne groggily dragged her tired (and sore) body down the stairs. She had been called by a sleepy sounding voice over the intercom. She was pleased to say that she was sore. At least Ray had the stamina that Remy didn't anymore.

She felt sad at that thought. She wished it had been Remy she had made love with last night instead of fucking Ray. But then her thoughts heated. She was pissed at Remy. And considering that, revenge sex was great.

"WHAT?" Jean turned to her, shock on her face. She was holding a folded up pancake with apple sauce and peanut butter in it, heading for her room.

_Damn telepath!_ She thought loudly. Jean glared.

"What?" She asked innocently. Last night had left her in the mood to be an ass.

"Rahne..." Jean shook her head. "Why would you do something like that?"

Rahne shrugged. She wasn't her mother! She didn't need to explain herself.

"That's just not like you Rahne. I don't know what's gotten into you...but all I have to say is, I don't like it! My sweet friend has turned into a bitch." With that she stalked away, ignoring the shock on Rahne's face that her best friend would call her a bitch.

"Oh yeah," she called over her shoulder, not looking back. "Your visitor is going to know what you did. I don't think she's going to be pleased."

Was her visitor X-23?

"Oh shit..." She stared.

* * *

Rahne had called him yesterday. He ignored it. He felt selfish, but this was about him, to help him get his shit together. He couldn't deal with it.

He hadn't stopped for anything. He had a cramp in his right leg. He seriously needed to get out and move around.

He pulled up to a mansion. The camera swiveled around to look at him. "Name?" someone asked. The voice sounded like it was angry.

"Remy lebeau," he answered, grinning devilishly into the camera.

"Holy shit!" The gate opened.

* * *

The I-84 is a real diner in New York. Those are real deserts on the menu. MMmmm, pastry...

I am debating on stopping this story. It doesn't really seem like anyones reading it, though I would feel bad for all you loyal fans (the two of you) if I stopped.

I have decided to post here (because this is probably the most readable place) that I will be doing spring cleaning on my stories because some of them just suck and need to be taken down.


	17. Chapter 17

Jean-Luc stared at his son, disbelieving that he was really there. He reached his quivering hand out tentatively to feel the stubble that covered his son's head. It was rough as a cat's tongue. He was smiling at his son, after all, how could he not? He hadn't seen his son in years. Talking on the phone was not enough. After all, when talking on the phone, it was easy to-

"Y' didn' tell us." Tante Mattie said, her voice stern, silently asking why. Her accent thickened.

But that didn't mean he was not saddened by the hardships his son was going through, alone. Without his family.

"I didn' wanna worry y'." He replied. He felt strange, wondering what they were thinking of him. He wished for so many things now, that he had not think to wish of before. Only now was he realizing... He wanted Jean-Luc and Tante Mattie to tell them they were proud of him for what he made of his life thus far, or just proud of him for something. He wanted someone to be proud of him for something. They had never said it. He knew they thought it, and he knew he should know, he _did_ know, but it wasn't the same as saying it.

" Mon fils, we worry anyway." Jean-luc smiled. "It' our job. How could we not worry?"

_I don't want it to be your __**job**_, he thought to himself but said nothing.

He couldn't believe that he was sitting here at his kitchen table with Mattie and his father across from him, like so many times as he was growing up. He felt so disconnected from everyone. He just wanted to be happy, to remember... He didn't know what to feel anymore. He felt like his well source of feelings were used up, that the well was dry. He couldn't help feeling numb, like he was phoning in his feelings and they weren't quite coming across the connection.

He knew that even if he returned to the mansion, Jean-Luc and Mattie would be keeping a close eye on him, monitoring his treatments...Boy, was he not looking forward to telling them that. What he had done. It was giving up in their eyes, plain and simple. They would want him to continue chemotherapy. He wondered if they would feel it was a waste of their time when he was a child to put in that much effort and then have it fail only later in his life. He wondered how much they regretted, involving him.

"Do y' still have the photo albums in t' living room?" He asked suddenly. He needed to see them. Needed to see how he had managed before. Needed to see what he had done in his life, how he had affected the people around him. Needed to see some kind of memories of the boy, the man he had lost. Where had Remy gone? Because he sure as hell wasn't he. At least not anymore.

"Oui..." Mattie replied hesitantly. Remy spent the last two days driving down here. Then he seemed so strange. Like he was in a dream, trying to remember what was going on. She had never seen him like this and it worried him. It was too strange for her to dwell on it for long. She would have to take a moment to See when she found the time.

* * *

Rahne realized for the first time that height did not give one an advantage. Here she was, 5 foot 8, being intimidated by a girl who was barely 5 feet, if that. It was in the eyes. Eyes that were so familiar to her, yet so different. They stared accusingly at her, none too pleased. Remy never told her this girl was coming. Then she thought, Remy probably didn't know himself. It was slightly funny though, how this short little girl was related to a guy that was over 6 feet.

"Y'." She said, her voice damning. "Are a little putain, aren't y'?"

Rahne didn't know what "putain" meant, but she could tell it probably wasn't complementary.

"Look here, if you be wantin' to talk to Remy, he's not here." She pointed out, trying to stay calm. Trying not to show that this slip of a girl had her rattled, off balance.

"I _know_ that. I came here t' talk t' y'."

Rahne waited for her to start talking. She wasn't in a particularly good mood now that she was standing in the foyer of the mansion being accused by a munch kin.

"Y' need to grow up. Y'r being a little brat. You care only f' y'rself and y'r happiness."

"Look, you," She began.

"Non, shut up. I'm here, y'll listen to me. Y' want him to let you know what's goin' on with him? Then y'r gonna have to tell him about the hunt. Y' can't pretend it never happened. Y' want him to bleed his heart out to y', but y'r not willin' to do the same. Things don't work like that. Y' need to tell him. Y' don't know if you'll have that change again." She took a deep breath, trying to stay in control.

"Y'r playin' with Remy and this ot'r boy. Stop it. I'm not goin' to tell Remy what you did. That's up t' y', if y' want t' tell him. I know what's in y'r heart. Y'r hurt that he's keepin' y' out. Y'r tryin' to hurt him back. He has enough of that, he doesn' need more. But y'r being unfair to this other boy. He hopes that you feel somethin' for him that you don't." Rahne was slightly put of that this girl had just jumped right into whatever was on her mind. No "hello, how do you do" or anything. It seemed rude, but when the girl started speaking to Rahne's heart, she listened.

_It's true,_ Rahne thought to herself (because she sure as hell wasn't going to tell the girl. She was too full of herself)._ I do love Remy. I know how much he loves me. _No, this wasn't the best time for a relationship, but it was what they had for the moment. They could have put it off, waited to get to know each other, waited to start a relationship till after Remy pulled through. That was the question, wasn't it? Would he pull through? Would the heartbreak be worth it if he...didn't pull through. Would she regret it for the rest of her life if she hadn't gotten to know him, if they hadn't gotten involved?

_I know I could tell him, but he has so much to deal with already. I see how tired he is, every night, just from carrying his own burdens. And if I told him about the hunt, of what happened before, would he be able to handle it, or would he break?_

Now she felt horrible. Revenge sex, not so good once she thought about it. It _wasn't_ fair to Ray, to give him hope when she couldn't give her heart to him. A thief had stolen it and she didn't know if she'd ever get it back. And it wasn't fair to Remy, to share her body with someone else when it was supposed to be just them.

Rahne felt the overwhelming pressure of guilt crush down on her. _How could I have been so stupid? How am I ever going to be able to make this right again? I've broken two men's hearts, two men I care about and love, though differently. Will I ever be able to put them back together again?_

A small hand touched the side of her face gently. Rahne looked up and saw two crimson and onyx eyes looking at her with understanding.

"Everyone makes mistakes. That doesn't mean that it has to break your world. You did some things that were wrong, yes. Don't forget that. Learn to live with them and make them right."

Rahne nodded her head solemnly. She understood. She would take it to heart. She swallowed the last of her negative feelings towards this girl.

"Can I have your phone number?"

* * *

"I 'member that." Jean-Luc said, pointing to a picture of Remy and Henri, dressed in jeans and tee-shirts, covered in mud, smiling happily. A small blur was running through the background of the image."That was Thanksgivin', after the guild football game. Y' were too young, weren't y' only twelve and y' couldn't play till y' were 15?" Remy nodded. "But y' made them let y' play. Y'r team won, and y' and Henri were so happy. Never mind that y'r standin' on a broken ankle. Didn' tell anybody neither, just limped around for three days until Mattie finally caught on."

Another picture showed Remy sitting high up in the branches of a tree. "Y' were always doin' that. Hidin' off somewhere. Sometimes I thought y' lived in a world of y'r own. That y' knew things we didn', that we couldn't understand. Y' were always daydreamin'. Sometimes I'd have t' say y'r name three or four times before y'd look at me, and I could tell you had forgotten where y' were, that y' were a thousand miles away."

For a moment there was a thoughtful pause.

Remy fingered the pictures. He knew where he had gone. He hadn't always been lost. It had only happened recently. When he had let his sickness start to control him, let it define him. Let it suck out his energy through his marrow, let it take away his life. He was drifting. Now really living. Just skimming by. Not giving anything to anyone, not really taking anything either. Just in limbo.

"'m goin' back to the mansion tomorrow." He announced. This break had been good for him. But the things he needed to figure out where at the mansion, at the hospital, not here.

"What?" Mattie cried. "Y' just got here! I wanna be able t' told y' in my arms for longer than a day!"

"'m sorry. It's something I need t' do." Mattie looked doubtful.

"My other half is back in New York, Mattie. Y' wouldn' want me t' leave her would you?"

Mattie sighed. "No, I understand you have other things you need t' do."

"I've started figuring things out. I think I know what I need t' do."

"That's good." Mattie nodded. "That's the most important."

Jean-Luc nodded, though he didn't look too happy.

Mattie stood up in a clanking of beads and metal. "I will go make supper. Somethin' special f' y'. Y' know those Yankees can't cook like me. So tell me more about this 'other half'. She's not a Yankee is she?"

"Well actually, she says I'm a Yankee because I'm from America. We're all Yankees to them."

Mattie raised an eyebrow. "Tell m' more."

* * *

Rahne sat on her bed, feeling a little more depressed, and a lot more relived. She had gone to Ray. Explained that it had been lack of better judgment, that she was just upset. He didn't seem happy (though did she really expect him to be?) and his lips pressed into a thin line. He wouldn't speak to her, he just left the room. She had gotten that out of the way.

April had left after they sat outside on the steps for several hours, just talking. They had almost become friends, though at times April was disconcerting. Her eyes say too far into Rahne's heart and soul. She knew things Rahne had never told her. Had never told anyone.

"You're an old spirit." Rahne had told her solemnly. April had just smiled knowingly which did nothing to put Rahne at ease.

She received a text from Remy. He would be home in three days. She felt both relieved and nervous. She felt lighter after the time apart, more able to handle what would be coming her way, but she did not want to tell him.

She didn't want to tell Remy that she had cheated on him. And she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he would have to say either.

She laid on her bed and tried to think through the uncertaintly.

* * *

Wow, thanks for reminding me that I had talked about Rogue and Scott. I guess there needs to be an explanation. I had originally planned on this involving lots of action scenes and there was supposed to be this big story about Scott and Rogue, who really weren't Scott and Rogue, but I got caught up in trying to make this story more about Remy and Rahne's emotional journey. So that's what I'm sticking with, Remy and Rahne. I went back and edited Scott and Rogue virtually out of all the other chapters. They are still there somewhat but it's easy to just phase out of them. So, forget all about that, I think that will be another story.

That's another hard part about this story, trying to keep it emotionally true, from the POW of the patient and the lover. I'm drawing from my own experiences with my father, so it's really hard emotionally to try and write Remy's POW.

There is an end for this story in sight. Sorry that it took me so long to write this. I hope to have some kind of a chapter up by Friday. Even if it's short. Bear with me.

But that's to everyone who popped out of the woodwork and let me know they wanted me to continue.

Any I love this new tracker thing. I like seeing all the different countries :)


	18. Chapter 18

A Little later than I had promised, but I was in San Fransisco! School starts tomorrow, so that will start up with more updates, so that should be good!

* * *

Remy sat at the table with his father. It felt good to sit here like old times, by the light of the moon, with only the living room light shining through the door, drinking frozen hot chocolate. They talked about many things. They discussed Remy's love life, discussed April and what kind of weird thing she was up to this time, discussed the X-Men and guild gossip. But they didn't talk about Cancer. Didn't talk about the future. But they enjoyed each other's company anyway.

"I miss it here." Remy said, looking out the window at the drooping trees. "Even the air smells different here. I love New York, I do, but it' like bein' in another country. People can be really rude, not as friendly. It takes gettin' used to I guess."

"I know what y' mean. When I went to college in France, it was so different. A lot of the times it was really nice, then I would end up wonderin' what was wrong with these people. They acted so differently than the people here that I didn' know how to relate t' them. But t' this day I still love it there. A piece of these places always stays wi't y'. And in t' end, you figure it out, and y' become like one of them, but still like y'."

They chatted for a little while more before they went their separate directions to their rooms.

Mattie went down stairs and closed the doors to the kitchen. She lit four candles, black, white, red, and blue and put them at the four corners of the table. She filled her special bowl cast from silver with water. She filled it with herbs, a Rowan branch, and let it seep in the light of the moon. In a few moments she emptied the bowl and filled it again with clean water.

"Show me the way." She whispered. She took in all the information the spirits gave her, though it just about killed her to see it happening all in the reflective mirror of the water.

The next morning after his shower, Remy stared at himself in the mirror. He turned his head one way, then the other. It was strange. His scalp was covered with the auburn prickling of growing hair. His gaunt face was looking less gaunt than a few weeks earlier. His eyes shined in the light. It was good not to see the dullness in his eyes anymore.

He threw on some clothes, a pair of loose blue jeans that he clinched tight with a belt and a once tight Rolling Stones shirt. He padded barefoot down to the kitchen, sneaking a glimpse at the grandfather clock in the hallway. It was 8:00 in the morning. He chuckled to himself. He had never woken up this early on a regular basis, and now he couldn't sleep later if he wanted to.

When he walked into the kitchen Mattie had a waffle iron out and was whisking batter. He walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Mornin'" He said as he hugged her.

"Remy!" She turned around and hugged him tight.

"I need to breath!" He wheezed. She let go and smoothed his shirt.

"Well then, sit down. Breakfast!" Her eyes were shiny, glassy, but Remy didn't comment on it. Her voice sounded strained.

"Where's Pere?" He asked instead.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Who knows. Probably still asleep." She said as she poured the batter into the griddle. "Not everyone wakes up as early as you." She said with a hint of humor.

She gave him a plate of waffles and watched as he put a little butter and drowned them in strawberries. "That's going to be a soggy mess." She pointed out.

"I know." He replied happily as he ate.

"Call us when you get back." Jean-Luc told him sternly, pretty cure that Remy would not call them. Remy loved them, but he seemed hesitant about bothering them in some way. Jean-Luc had tried to tell him that it didn't matter, he always had time for him but Remy always just shook his head.

He gave his son a hug and turned him over to Mattie. He wished they had more time with him. Maybe they should visit him...

"Je t'aime Remy." She whispered into his ear as he leaned down to hug her. When he tried to pull away she continued to hold him tight. When she let him pull back, she held his face and memorized his features. "Je t'aime" She repeated.

"Je t'aime Mattie. I'll come and visit again soon. Maybe for Christmas, heh?" She nodded solemnly.

"Get goin'" Jean-Luc told him with a smile. How will you see your fille if you don't leave?"

He got into his car and as his father and Mattie watched, he sped out of the driveway.

Mattie held herself as she walked back into the house.

**Two days later**

Rahne sat on the edge of Remy's bed. Was it Remy's bed or their bed she wondered. She wondered if it would stay their bed after she told him about Ray.

She had gotten a text message a few minutes ago telling her to go up to his room and wait for him. She swung her feet nervously. What would she say? How would she say it?

She jumped up when the door open and Remy was standing there. He looked healthier, lighter, like a weight had been lifted from him.

"Hello." He said with a smile, and it was the old way he used to talk, playful and flirtatious, something she had been missing these last few months.

"Remy!" She ran over to him and jumped, hugging him. He held her in the strong arms she had missed. She was realizing even more how distant they had let themselves become. How much they tolerated instead of enjoyed each other.

"Rahne." He whispered covering her mouth with his, tasting deeply, like it was his first time. And it was in a way. She kissed him back, running her hands over his scalp, over his back as she wrapped her legs around him. He moved away from her mouth and kissed the tender spot just below her ear before working his way, kissing and nibbling down her neck. She tried to get to his lips but he kept moving down, kissing between her collar bones. She kissed him on the forehead before resting her head against his. She didn't try to protest that he "wasn't up to this" as she had been doing for months now. She was always afraid that sex would be too much for him somehow.

He laid her gently on the bed, straddling her hips. He nimbly undid the buttons of her shirt, easing it off her while kissing her. She softly nipped his lip and held it for a moment before kissing him again. He broke off the kiss and placed a a butterfly kiss between her breasts as he unhooked her bra. She fumbled with trying to get off his tee-shirt but finally managed. She whipped off his belt and undid his jeans. Hers were already halfway down her thighs, where Remy was kissing all down her length, tasting the salt of her skin. All the clothes were removed and Rahne brought him back up for a kiss. His hands rubbed her breasts as she kissed him passionately, digging her nails into his shoulders.

* * *

So does anyone want to help me with a title for this story? Because No Title is grating on me. Please :)


	19. A Happy Moment

"Don' move." Remy mumbled sleepily against Rahne as she shifted in his arms. She looked at Remy closely. Shadows flitted across his face in the soft glow of the mornings rays. He had a 5 O'clock shadow, but Rahne just thought that added to his scruffy charm. He lay sprawled out on the covers. Rahne mentally salivated over the fact that he was naked. And he had a morning visitor.

"Well hello there." She murmured wickedly, while nipping at the hollow of his throat.

Remy groaned. "Stop it..." He threw his arm over his face trying, to stay asleep. He was only partially away and the tug of sleep _beautiful sleep _he though to himself, was strong. He was too comfortable to move, too warm and content.

After all, she could not possible want to do it _again_. Well, to make a **long** story short, they had kept themselves entertained for hours. _She's like a jackrabbit!_ He thought in exasperation at her never ending energy.

Oh, but she _did._

"Remy," She whined, pleadingly at him, rolling over and planting her knees on either side of his beautiful body stretched out like a feast before her. She rested her head against his chest and relished the feeling of his heart beating against her. And the feeling of something else pressed happily against her stomach. She wiggled against him.

He removed his arm and put his hand on her ass. "Rahne. That's not nice." His eyes told her that he was enjoying himself. He made a move as though to switch positions with her.

"Nuh-uh. Why do you always have to be in control, lad? No. This time, I'm going to make you squirm." She held him down firmly with one hand.

Catching his mouth with hers she slid down further. She was just about to have a nice, long conversation with his friend when there was loud knocking at the door.

"You kids better knock that crap off! Like I can't smell those pheromones in _my room. _If you're gonna do it, do it outside!" He growled. A pause. "No, don't do it outside. Don't do it at all!" With that he stomped away.

"Oh dear," Rahne said, grinning at Remy with a glint in her eyes. "I hope we haven't disturbed anybody else." She rolled off of him and went into the bathroom.

"Y'r not just gonna leave me like this?" Remy asked in horror to a closing door.

"Why not?" Came the muffled reply. "It will build character. It's bad to get everything you want."

"Rahne!"

Logan grinned as he heard the shout. That would teach those kids!

Denny's was packed with the Sunday morning crew of retired people.

"I want those." Rahne announced as their server left, taking Remy's plate of home fries and replacing it with her hash browns.

"Uh...?" Was all Remy said. It was best not to argue with women folk. He would get her back. Like hiding her Reese's stash that she kept hidden in her jewelry box. Maybe he would just have to find something else to put in that box...

He looked at the old couples surrounding them. He thought it was sappy, but he couldn't help thinking, what if that was them someday? God, he hoped that would be them, more in love with each other than they were now. After having lived the best years of their lives together, having kids...Not that he would ever say that. Those were "girl" dreams. But he still thought them.

Rahne was watching him with a curious look. Remy smiled secretly at her. He had just though of something. And he was not going to be sharing this information with her!

"What?" She asked. But no matter how much she tried to wheedle it out of him, or even her offer of switching back plates (what with the home fries nearly all gone by that point) could make him talk about it.

When they returned to the mansion, Rahne went up to the room for a minute trying to "find something", which Remy took to mean she was going to hunt and see if she could find any clues about what it was he was up to.

"Jean." He said, poking his head around the corner of the rec-room. Jubilee and Ray were sitting on the couch with her. He was confused by the pouting glare Ray sent his way, but he thought nothing of it.

"Y' wanna help me with somethin'?" Jean followed him, curious about the air of mischief that surrounded him.

She only got even more excited as she listened to his plan.

* * *

I thought Rahne and Remy deserved some happy time.

It is almost the end of this story. Are you excited?

Also, I just have to say, I am angry at the Canadians. They have Wolverine and the X-men cartoons already, where as we Americans will not be getting it till spring 2009. Thank you youtube and other video sources for keeping me from waiting. I love it, there's Gambit!


	20. Chapter 20

Not quite a year...maybe I should have waited longer before putting this short little chapter up.

* * *

Jean was so excited. She sat and looked at Rhane and Remy all through dinner, through the bustling noise. He seemed to be hiding his nervousness well, she thought, aside from the shaking hands and looking a bit pale. But people kept giving Jean weird looks, Rhane included, because of the deliriously happy smile that she tried to keep hidden, but it wasn't going so well. Remy gave her a weak smile, knowing exactly what was going on. Rhane just kept looking between the two of them, trying to figure out what she was obviously not privy to.

There seemed to be some energy at the table tonight, Rhane thought. She couldn't figure it out, but she knew everybody felt it. Everyone chattered excitedly, except Remy, which wasn't really odd lately, and Jean, though she tried to force herself to make conversation, it just couldn't keep her attention. Remy held her hand all through dinner though, a sweet gesture that they had been too preoccupied in to indulge for so long. He rubbed his thumb in circles around her palm. It made her stomach flutter excitedly. She couldn't wait to get to their bedroom and just lay together, listening to their hearts beat in time.

When dinner was over they walked hand in hand up to their bedroom. Remy's hand was clammy. Jean followed them nearly all the way up the stairs chatting excitedly to them both before Remy gave her a look. She got the hint and made herself scarce. Rahne leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She loved feeling his body next to hers, and she knew he felt the same way. She wanted to be able to lay next to him for the rest of his life.

Once they got into the bedroom Remy seemed to be following Rahne's train of thought, pulling her into a hug on the bed. He said nothing. She rested her head on his chest. He lowered his face to hers, kissing her once, sweetly. Then he pressed his lips to hers for a long moment, seeming to think or something Rhane didn't know what. She kissed along his jawline before bringing her mouth back to his. He opened his lips and brought his tongue into her inviting mouth. She was startled when she felt something that wasn't his tongue drop into her mouth. She pulled back, looking at him questioningly. He just looked at her shyly, nervously. She pulled whatever it was out of her mouth and just stared at it for a long moment. She couldn't tell if her heart was still beating.

"Are you-" She started, her voice hoarse.

"Yes." He answered, equally as hoarse, voice tender. She nodded her head.

He took the platinum ring with it's diamonds and slid it onto her ring finger.

They lay on the bed, listening to their heats beat in time, to happy to ruin the moment when words. Words would never be adequate enough to describe a moment that was truly just theirs.


End file.
